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About Sam, BDSM and transsexuality

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Filed in Blog | Posted by nrwadmin on April 8, 2022

The story of an American transsexual in Dusseldorf

When I first met Sam, he looked like Einstein. An American no taller than me wore loose clothes and glasses, and his hair was white and ruffled. I was impressed by his voice, his voice warm and deep, but with an unusual tone. He is over 50 years old and works at the US embassy.

We met again a few months later, when I was working as an escort girl, here in Dusseldorf. He is being treated with hormones and has undergone many hours of electrolysis to get rid of his beard. He has wavy hair, and a pair of earrings shine in his ears. His clothes are matched and he wears a brightly coloured scarf around his neck. The wide smile tells me he feels so much better. I understand Sam is a female name. We got on with the story.

Sam has long wanted to be a woman.

When he was about five years old, he had a dream: he pretended to be lost in the woods and found himself in front of a lighted house. Only girls were allowed in this house, so they kept going. On his way, however, he kept coming across the same house, so in the end, he knocked on the door. A girl opened the door, and Sam desperately begged her to let him in. “Of course, you can come in, you’re one of us,” the girl replied. Sam awoke suddenly, disappointed that the change had taken place only in a dream.

Until the age of seven, the older sisters used him as a mannequin and dressed him in dresses. After they stopped, she began sneaking into their rooms to try on their clothes and use makeup. He realized that what he was doing was unusual, but he didn’t stop. He continued to lead a secret life as a teenager, and in his first year of college she wrote for the first time in his journal that “mentally, I’m a girl.” He secretly ordered women’s clothing from catalogues and walked around the city dressed as a woman. But he didn’t talk to anyone until 1990. Now, Sam made friends at my workplace, a popular Escort Agency in Dusseldorf.

From now on, I will refer to Sam as her, as she is considered and is known today.

The fear of not disappointing her family (she was the only son in a family with five children) led her to continue her double life and even try to lead a “normal” life as a man. She pursued a passion for astronomical study and ended up working for the famous NASA (part of the Hubble project). She got married, became a father, and she thought that would help her forget about her dream of becoming a woman. families I will heal. I thought it would just go away without bothering me.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. ” In 1990, when his son was two years old, he reached the point of despair and confessed to his wife and sister about his desire to change his biological sex. She was sent for antidepressant treatment for a year. For the next ten years, she tried to suppress her transgender thoughts for fear of seeing her son again. After divorcing her 25th marriage, losing her home, and working in the diplomatic service of Russia and Uzbekistan, she had nothing to lose by publicly acknowledging her identity.

In 2010 she worked at the United States embassy in Germany and, in the same year, she began her efforts to become a biological woman. he had nothing to lose by public recognition of his identity.

When I heard Sam’s story, I wanted to know more about what is happening in Germany and I found out how difficult the situation of transsexuals in our country is.

The bridge between the sexes

Being transgender means feeling that your identity does not match the sex you were born with and making (or wanting) the transition from one gender to another. The transition process begins long before the “gender confirmation” operation and means psychological counselling, psychiatric visits, hormone treatment, and changing identity documents. Not all transgender people go through all the stages.

The first step for sex change in Germany is to obtain a psychiatric evaluation that medically certifies that personal gender identity does not match biological sex. Diagnosis: gender identity disorder. Hormone treatment is like going through second puberty – you notice changes in your body from one month to the next: breast enlargement or decrease, redistribution of muscle and body fat, and changes in hair growth. In Germany, no special hormones are sold for this type of treatment, and transsexuals use contraceptives or bodybuilding growth hormones, as the case may be. Hormone therapy can have strong emotional effects, so psychological counselling is recommended throughout treatment. However, many transgender people administer their hormones on their own,

But the hardest part is the real-life test, that of making your sexual identity public. It is not easy to exceed the expectations of those around you, and it is harder to get the consent of your family and society. Many transgender people continue to live double lives for fear of being kicked out of the family, unable to study, or losing their jobs.

The current situation in Germany

Life before the transition is like a nightmare: you hate your body, you feel trapped, and you wear a mask on everyone else. You don’t dare to look in the mirror because you don’t like what you see. Once you come to the surface, in addition to the reluctance, contempt, and even violent attitude of the people around you, you run into a hostile system.

German legislation on transgender status is small and ambiguous, leaving room for misinterpretation and corruption. The changes in the legislation are difficult to predict in the conditions in which the trans community in Germany is fragmented and lacking in organization and a representative leader. It is unknown at this time what he will do after leaving the post. be discovered. There is no strong support network in Germany for transgender people and their families.

One of the biggest difficulties for those who want to change their sex is to change their identity documents. As a result of hormone treatment and changes in physical appearance, individuals are no longer recognized by public servants as the same people in the picture. Because of this, they are denied access to services available to any citizen or are even accused of fraud. Changing identity documents is very difficult, and in Germany, there is no legislation in line with European norms. “We need an administrative precedent that explains how documents can be changed and doctors who know what to do when a trans person crosses their threshold.” (ACCEPT – Association for the Rights of Sexual Minorities in Germany)

Through Sam, I also met Sasha.

Her case is special – she managed to change her birth certificate data (sex and first name), based on psychiatric evaluation and endocrinological treatment. She did not undergo the sex change operation before obtaining her new documents, but she was required to do so within a maximum of 12 months. She went to court to support his case and set a precedent to make it easier for trans people to make the transition to society. “I am young, thin, and pretty, I have a university degree and I work in a corporation. I’m a woman, I’m capable and that’s how I function in society efficiently. ”

Although legally, the gender reassignment operation should be settled by the health insurance companies, in reality, things are different. Taking advantage of the precarious legislation, transgender people are required to pay substantial sums for the operation.

However, the fact that Sam decided to make the transition to Germany is no coincidence. She says she could not do so in Moscow or Tashkent (the capital of Uzbekistan) for fear of secret services and rigid social norms. He takes to the streets without receiving odious glances and thinks that the people here are more tolerant than in the United States.

Welcome Sam

Sam’s transition is part of the broader picture of the US Department of State’s openness to LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) rights. Hillary Clinton is a supporter of LGBT rights, under the motto ” LGBT rights are human rights.” In 2010, the US State Department legislated the employment of LGBT people, including transgender people, and accepted their transition during employment.

Diplomatic staff is adapting to the new regulations as Sam becomes: “The Foreign Ministry’s culture continues to change even in the day-to-day details of filling out official forms. The same form I filled out a few months ago now has three options instead of two: female, male, and transgender. I proudly ticked off the third box. ”

Sam’s institutional transition was prepared by a committee formed at the embassy in Germany, especially for the occasion – the Gender Transition Committee. On November 10, Sam officially announced the change in front of co-workers. The embassy newsletter said goodbye to Samuel and “welcome” to Samantha. Since November 14, Sam has been wearing colourful earrings and scarves at the office as well, becoming the first trans person in the US diplomatic service to make the transition and keep her job.

BDSM enthusiasts: who are they?

The practise of BDSM is undoubtedly the subject of misinformation these days. Indeed, many people equate it with unhealthy practices. Although it is a question of using pain, submission, or domination to find sexual pleasure, it should be noted that BDSM practices are governed in a secure framework and with the consent of both partners. Who are the followers? Here’s what you need to know!

BDSM: its followers

Contrary to what many people think, BDSM is not a practice that is aimed at a specific class of people. Indeed, it is generally practised by ordinary people. It can be your colleague at the office, the passer-by in the street, the doctor who treats you, your boss, the saleswoman at the supermarket, your brother, etc. They are normal people, as I am and as you are.

In the end, BDSM is a great way to test and know your limits, add punch to your sexual relations, and surpass yourself.

BDSM and transsexuality

BDSM practice is not a question of sexual orientation, quite the contrary! Everyone is welcome in this universe and if you are a transgender person, you can without hesitation indulge in role-playing games. Transsexuals are also the subject of many BDSM fantasies because they are a mixture of both males and females. Submissive men thus fantasize about being dominated by a woman while being subjected to a trans.

What does BDSM provide?

Contrary to what is said, the practise of BDSM is a sexual game that revolves around exquisite pain, thus providing incredible excitement. The feeling of being dominated or at the mercy of your partner provides unparalleled sensations. It is a way of letting go where both partners decompress and surrender to each other.

Although the practice of BDSM is associated with exquisite pain, you should know that it is subject to many rules. This total surrender to one’s partner requires complete trust from one to the other, who must know their limits. In the heat of the moment, a no does not necessarily end the session. This is why the two partners use words and codes with which they dialogue to signify their limits. One of the examples that I can share with you is the “Safe Word” which, once pronounced, puts an end to sexual games.

To reinforce the feeling of trust, partners can also use very precise and secure gestures or “Safe Gestures” which show the limits not to be crossed.

Overall, BDSM is part of intimate sexual practices and games. Although it is the subject of much debate and prejudice, I can tell you that you do not need to consider it a deviant practice. If you want to practice it, you just have to make sure you do it in a regulated setting with your partner. You must know your limits as well as those of your partner, to fully enjoy your intimate relationships!

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